Why I REALLY Left Corporate

I've Never Actually Shared ALL of This

A friend of mine sent me this picture last month with a message that said, “Going through old pics and found one that I know you’d treasure. You likely have this already but just in case you don’t ❤️.”

They weren’t wrong. I DO treasure this picture and am so glad they sent it because I did not have a copy. The reason it’s so meaningful is because the woman standing next to me is Caroline. We didn’t know it yet, but Caroline would be diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic colon and liver cancer just months after this photo was taken.

We worked on the same team and she was my closest colleague at the time. My confidant. The person I could be found on the phone with strategizing over how we were going to make the most money that quarter. Often these conversations happened when I was sitting in school pickup lines waiting to pick up my bonus kids. She always knew that she could catch me at that time and I’d be happy to chat.

I was the first person at work that Caroline shared her cancer diagnosis with and I’ll never forget that very moment when she told me. It completely knocked the wind out of me and I gripped the wall, bracing myself to stay upright. It was incredibly shocking.

By all accounts, Caroline was the epitome of health. She didn’t really drink alcohol, maintained a vegan diet, exercised regularly, and was loved by everyone. She was only 43. A few years younger than I am today. When she asked me to be the one to tell people at work about her diagnosis, I gladly took on the role. Anything to make things easier for her. We’ve since lost Caroline to her battle with cancer, which is why my friend knew this photo would be important to me and one I’d cherish. And I will.

This photo also sparked a whole flurry of other thoughts and emotions for a multitude of different reasons. This was taken in the summer of 2018. When I look at the photo, I don’t even recognize myself here.

This was during the time when I was in a relationship with “Chad.” He and his kids were living in my home at the time. They were actually there with me on this work trip. They finally got to come along on one of my “field trips”, as the youngest called them.

This was a mid-year sales meeting that took place in Huntington Beach, CA and we decided to make a little family vacation out of it. There are so many sweet memories from that trip. It was both of the kids’ first time seeing and going in the ocean. We also headed to Hollywood and they were fascinated by all of the fast, expensive cars and would shout and call it out every time they’d see one. (We don’t tend to see Lamborghinis every 3rd car in Minneapolis.)

You’d think that the version of me pictured in this photo would have been really happy. She’s got a secure job, making money, standing next to her colleague and friend, her family is with her on this trip, and she’s even holding an award she just won! More on that award later…

Fast forward to today. I currently guest on about 3-5 podcasts per week. One of the most common opening questions I get is “Tell us about how you came to do the work you do today as a keynote speaker, bestselling author, podcast host, and coach.” Typically, I delve into the details of my experience with “Chad.” Which is all very real and very true. That was the catalyst of my journey, but it actually started before that.

And if I’m being honest with you and myself, I’ve not been ready to share that part. Until now.

I’m finally ready to share with you the juicy details and more of the REAL reasons I left my successful corporate career (and the toxicity that came along with it) behind. Part of what finally pushed me to write this is something that happened this week.

He got promoted.

I worked in the medical aesthetics industry for nearly 20 years. It’s a competitive industry where we all worked hard and high-performers were compensated lucratively. Year after year, I received top ratings on my performance reviews, won awards, was tasked with more responsibility, and got promoted.

In my newest book, UNSUBSCRIBE: Why Letting Go is the Secret to Getting Ahead, I share about the time in my life when I was over-functioning. Yes, it did have a lot to do with the romantic relationship I was in, but it also had a lot to do with my job and the people I was surrounded by at work.

You see, the award I’m holding in the picture was a brand new type of award the company had just rolled out. The award I received was for Collaboration. After I was presented with it on stage in front of my colleagues, my boss at the time told me it was a joke. (For reference, the guy in the picture is not who I’m talking about, which is why I covered his face.)

My boss at the time told me that he nominated me for this award to make people think I was collaborative, even though I wasn’t.

By definition, to be even somewhat successful in the role I was in at the time, it required intense collaboration. And I wasn’t just a performer on his team, I was a TOP performer. In fact, the year I left that organization, I won the highest award given and would have been awarded the big, fancy trip and all. And to be so real, the LAST thing I would have wanted to do was go to Hawaii with that boss or anyone else in leadership at the time. After I left, it was given to the second top performer, but passed off as though he’d won anyway.

Prior to when this guy was my boss, he’d made sexual advances at me at different meetings. One was at a conference in Miami. We had hosted a big customer appreciation event and everyone went to the bar afterwards, which was at a hotel where he happened to be staying. Instead of my standard Irish goodbye, I let him and others know I was leaving. He proceeded to slyly hand me his room key and said, “My room number is xxx. I’ll be up in a few minutes.” I explained that I was leaving and going back to my hotel. Alone. He threw his hands up in the air and insinuated that I’d led him on and he must have misread my cues. I thought that was the end of it.